I have been working long and hard .. not to say productive but i know its beyond me when i fail to distinguish the sunrise and sunset that capture the day and look at the color change in the sky and start my count down again..
A starbucks cofee long gone cold, a piece of an old apple pie , memories of sambar idly , a smelly tiffin box, 3 hand kerchiefs of different colors, a comb, a sock and a cartload of papers , each of them having been scribbled over enough number of times and their ink smudged and paper dog eared , a watch , earphones of my IPOD(without my ipod), an empty purse and a dishevelled look on my face and a pang on excitement when i think of bed and stuffed toys ..
when i reach that point of state mentioned above , where the physical self disowns the senses , i know that i have worked long enough..
when my head bobbles up and down the ocean of panic, i should lest realize that i should go home..
Well....... else if i am still not done with the work, my brain takes occassional breaks ,bows down to the caffine and lets my hand take over to write the most distressed and boring blog ever like this one...

Realization of your ignorance strikes you high and hard when it comes to making decisions ... true... but in a new country and new culture..you are reminded of it constantly by being judged by your own mind , unconcious reference to self as a quintessential douche is indeed inevitable.....

On one such days , when the essence of being the newbie strings on to me ,the inherent work ass does justice to its term and i decide to spend the night in the lab working on "Stuff", with a friendly dude who apparently stays back to watch movies.

Dude: Lets go for a cofee !!
Me : Sure !! I am dying to get one .. (my perspicacity failing to realize this was the first time i went out for cofee )

We take a leisurely stroll and talk about all the things under the sun , from coursework to religion and reach the prototypal all night cofee shop.

There i find a haven of similar shaped cofee mugs with freshly brewed content.. all same color with different names none of which i can identify .

'Columbian roast', 'French vanilla' , etc etc etc. well those were the two which i could atleast read.
choices : Black : all above mentioned..
Creamer/Milk : An equal number of options much to my confusion.
sugar : different color packets categorized on weight,content of sucrose and a zillion other things..
While my dude just knows the 'right choice'... i grapple around with my eyes , hoping they do not accidentally mislead my ignorance.. Not that i am ashamed (but what the heck!! everyone wants to be omniscient)..

Dude , realises it.. (afterall he has been a newbie too ) and much to my irritation, with a puffed up chest, calls up his choice , which is a complicated jargon of words , from which my mind could only cut out words belonging to the layman family like 'black', 'hot','tall'.. rest all went unheard..

Now my turn to order...
I just wanted to order a filter cofee and think of its wafting smell and the hard struck taste that gives you a high even before the caffine reaches your blood.

More than excited , i reached out, grabbed my senses , pondered for a while and said 'Ditto' ..and proudly smiled to self , while my brain neurons do a wild tango and hug each other .. for having found a roundabout to save embarrasment..

Now.. how did i get over it..

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